Hello.
Meet Alyssa.

chrispine-trees:

do people wear glasses during sex or is it just like you’re blind and everthing’s a surprise

suspend:

i want kids but im scared they’ll blame me if theyre ugly

illaminati:

"maybe you shouldnt eat all of tha-"

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camaronez:

my response to everything is either no or i don’t know.

dutchster:

antoinettemalificus:

jetblueivy:

drive thru employees
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definitely
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do not
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get paid
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enough
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for
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this
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shit
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they are sick of your nonsense
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I lost my fucking shit at the fish and scared the shit out of my cat!! I am crying!! 

are you kidding me things like are a very welcome relief to an otherwise boring shift of doing repetitive work

blacklistecl:

if you are feeling rad don’t let anyone ever turn the r into an s

the-elle-word:

vanilla-beaan:

My new favorite flower

Get me this bouquet so I know it’s real

hostilehottie:

celestia:

remember

if you can watch this entire video straight through you have the most iron fucking will on the actual planet, in the actual universe. you have gigantic balls of steel. i would not fuck with you. you could come in my house and slap my mom and take my cats and i would just let you. if you can watch all of this you scare the shit out of me

GIMMELOU